Is your relationship with exercise broken?
A broken relationship with exercise can negatively impact all aspects of life
By
March 25, 2024
Is your relationship with exercise broken?
How many of you have been on a sports team where the coach used laps or shuttle runs or push-ups or something else as punishment for poor performance? If you haven't been on a team like that (and almost all teams are exactly like that), then you've probably seen it in a movie or TV show.
Or, have you been to the famed Marine Corps Recruit Depot at Parris Island, South Carolina? I have only been there as a proud parent of a new Marine, but the message was very clear - physical exercise was a primary punishment modality. I'll never forget a comment our older son made when he first visited the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland. He was an enlisted Marine on a path to the Naval Academy. As we walked around The Yard (the name given to the Naval Academy campus), Tish and I asked him what he was thinking. His reply was, "at least there aren't any sand pits." His reference was to the quality time he spent at Parris Island becoming one with the sand pits in seemingly endless evolutions of training.
What does this mindset do to us as adults? We learn to associate physical exercise with punishment. And that, my friends, is at the root of a lot of our problems with health in our society. This association runs deep in most of us.
Does this describe you?
What does this broken relationship look like in everyday life? Here are some examples of how this mental nastiness manifests:
Does any of that sound familiar? A broken relationship with exercise can lead to decreased motivation, a lack of long term commitment, and unhealthy behaviors in other areas of life.
Perhaps the most serious negative effect is that this broken relationship with exercise is handed down through generations. This can lead to even worse consequences for the next generation.
There's hope, though.
Fixing this relationship starts the same way we fix just about any other broken relationship: it starts with the words we use.
Words are important. Want proof? The next time you see your significant other, tell them that you're seriously disappointed in them.
The incredible thing about words is that we can use them to change our mindset. Your relationship with exercise doesn't have to languish in a chicken and egg scenario. Don't wait to change your words until after your mindset changes. Intentionally change your words today and be amazed at how your mind follows.
Celebrate what your body can do. Find the positive in every workout and emphasize that in your mind. Tell your friends about the positives. Tell yourself that you're looking forward to your gym time later in the day. Congratulate yourself after the workout for a job well done and think about the dividends in health that your workout will pay over time.
When we focus on the positives and learn to look forward to hard exertions, then the workouts become rewards. Think about how drastically that can change your life - when you view something healthy as a reward.
On a personal note...
I had coaches who used exercise as punishment. It was deeply ingrained during my youth and I wonder if those coaches ever realized the long-lasting harm they were doing to all of those kids. Probably not because they were just propagating their own unhealthy relationship with exercise.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my mom and dad for helping me mend my relationship with exercise. Dad did it through modeling a healthy relationship throughout his life. I remember when I was probably 9 or 10 years old, he decided he needed to start exercising. We went to the Y. We ran in the backyard and then through the neighborhood. My dad introduced me to road cycling when I was in my late 20's. He and I rode our first 100 mile bike ride together in Claxton, Georgia a few years later. He had kettlebells that he used into his 70's as he fought rheumatoid arthritis. He loved moving and embraced a lifestyle of fitness and health.
Mom is the only person I've ever personally known who actually wore out treadmills. Seriously - she walked on them until the motors burned up. She loved her time on the treadmill. She doesn't do much in the way of exercise now, but she modeled a healthy relationship with exercise for decades (even if her chosen exercise modality wasn't a complete approach).
So, thank you mom and dad. I owe you for this and so much more. And I've worked hard to hand that healthy relationship down to my sons. I'm also working hard to help my community heal their own relationship with exercise.
